Life in a bubble: The Nida Dar Diary - Part 2

More than a week into the South Africa tour and after a string of defeats, Nida Dar, the Pakistan all-rounder, realises that life gets lonelier when the team isn't winning. Through her tell-all diary, Dar invites us into the bubble life as she documents her journey each day of this 24-day tour of South Africa.

Excerpts from the diary

January 20, 2021

Day 9: Zoning out... Not

It was quite a tiring day for me as I was on the field for almost 90 overs. A lot of people congratulated me for my fifth ODI fifty but my focus was on building partnerships and winning the match for the team. That was my role in the middle order. I batted till the end but we couldn't win.

The problem is that I don't zone out easily after a match. For as long as I don't discuss what happened and how it should have happened with someone, I can't get over it. Ek bhadaas nikalni hoti hai. If even after dissecting the game I'm not satisfied, I go and watch the match all over again, ball-by-ball, and take a few notes for myself. It's only before my sleep time that I switch off by listening to a song or watching an episode of an online series.

Weirdly, none of my teammates would know how much I get stuck on with the match that has just happened. No one would believe it because on the outside I'm usually cool and calm. In fact, whenever I see others worked up, I feel like breaking the tension with a joke and getting everyone to relax, irrespective of how tense I'm from within. Nobody knows what my routine is like once I'm in my room or how I get out of these pressures or nervousness.

January 21, 2021

Day 10: Getting used to it

When we leave for our cricket tours, we are always thinking about the matches that we will play, even the discussions are around cricket. But it's important to relax as well. Today was the rest day, so I relaxed ... by watching the ball-by-ball highlights of the previous match. Okay, I need to get over the previous match, and that's not possible unless I go through it completely all over again. But that's it, I don't bring up cricket talks with anyone else. It's just me watching inside my room.

It's been quite some time here now. We're getting everything we want. There's rice but not the kind we're used to. We also get dal, chicken and lamb, but not as tasty. There's also something that's ALMOST biriyani. We've to get used to it, there's no option. It is important to find the positives out of what we are getting and make do with it. We have to follow the protocols.

It isn't so bad. I'm used to staying alone. The only additional rider is that we can't go outside. We can't even meet players from the opposition team, except on the field. Earlier, we would sit and chat with each other outside the dressing rooms after the games. That isn't possible now. Even in the hotel, we aren't allowed to enter their floor. But that's how it is!

January 22, 2021

Day 11: One per cent better

Facing underarm throws and having to hit it big is my favourite batting drill. While practising fielding, I like to take high catches. After the loss in the first match, today we were all quite pumped up in training. In our three-hour training session, we all went with a purpose, knowing the areas we wanted to work on. The purpose is to just get one per cent better every day.

Had I been good in studies, maybe I would have done something else in life. But I just wasn't. Since I was a kid, I knew I wanted to play cricket. So even if I wouldn't have become a cricketer, I would've still been on the field, probably as an umpire. Maybe, I would have played table tennis, but surely been playing some sport. Even in the future, I want to be on the ground, hopefully as a coach.

Meanwhile, I have reached the third season of Sneaky Pete. I like these kinds of shows - crime, thriller and action. Can't wait for the fifth season of Money Heist to release!

January 23, 2021

Day 12: The guiding hand

Today was our second match and